Juliet: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
That’s very profound Juliet, but your actually wrong, you’ve allowed your judgement to become clouded by being all loved up with Romeo, names are really, really important.
After a few months of letting the whole “you’re going to be a dad, you’re life is effectively over” thing settle in we decided we should probably come up with a name for whatever it was that was making Anna’s tummy so perfectly spherical. A surname like Ross opens the flood gates to some comedy gold – if it’s a girl, how about Glamour Ross, hmmm too Playboy Bunny. If it’s a boy you could do a lot worse than Danger Ross, how cool would that kid be – Anna crushed that dream, not even allowing it as a middle name!?!? If he emerges and is a little bit big boned, perhaps Wall Ross would befit. Albert Ross, Jenna Ross, Dexter Ross, Wanda Ross, it’s a bottomless pit of name related humour. Writing this a year after his birth, it still hurts that Max isn’t going to benefit from having Danger as a middle name.
I had to campaign hard to bring Anna on board with Max and campaign hard I did. My pitch revolved around three key selling points – Max Ross has a James Bond quality to it, Max means “The Greatest” and it would be easy to write meaning that for a few briefs weeks of school he will be the smartest kid in his class.
On a seperate note my parents really nearly called my sister Fanny Ross. They insist that Fanny was a common name back in the day, where have all the Fanny’s gone I wonder? They opted for Laura, a much safer bet.