My Blog has become a barometer for my feelings and emotions, a Blog-o-meter if you will. I wrote a post the other day that I probably wouldn’t write today because I feel differently today. Stay at home parenting can be an incredibly fickle business, some days it’s the best thing since disposable nappies and on others my enthusiasm is on a par with changing said disposable nappy. Blogging is cathartic in that regard, rather than hold onto any of the emotions that I might have that day, good or bad, I throw them out there and see what happens.
I imagine most bloggers could look back at some older posts and wonder if it was a guest post because they no longer subscribe to that way of thinking. That’s one of the beauties of Blogging you have a permanent reminder of the journey you’ve been on. With that in mind I thought I would take a nostalgic journey back in time and pick out some of my previous posts and try and work out what on earth I was thinking. Some make me cringe, some make me smile a knowing smile and some make me want to press delete.
“Excuse me, our one appears to have come without a manual” reflects on the fear of having a little person to have to care for and not feeling prepared. It also captures the memory of feeling a little redundant in those early days, a sentiment I’m sure many other Dads out there relate to https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/excuse-me-our-one-appears-to-have-come-without-a-manual/
When I wrote Gender Bending I had recently taken over the reigns as Max’s stay at home parent of choice. I think beneath the attempted wit and bravado I was scared and lonely. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to live up to the high standards set by Mrs Under and I was lonely, I had no family to call on, I was not part of a parents group and having not been in Australia long I had no real social network. I think in those early days I probably got fairly close to being depressed https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/88/
Walk the Walk tries to be funny, emphasis very much on tries folks, but deep down it’s actually about the competitive nature of parenting, something we all seem to get dragged into https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/walk-the-walk/
I Love must have been born on one of those perfect parenting days where everything goes well and you feel compelled to shout about how lucky you are to be a parent. Reading it back brings back some memories that would otherwise be forgotten – https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/i-love/
Forgive Me Fathers For I Am About to Sin was one of those brutally honest posts that probably saw me go down in some peoples estimations, I lost a few followers and received one or two heated replies. It wasn’t meant to be offensive, it was simply how I felt that day and I’m sure how lots of others have felt before and since https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/forgive-me-fathers-for-i-have-sinned/
Operation Preparation is me struggling to come to terms with how to raise my son, how I want to raise him in an ideal world or how I feel I have to raise him in this world? https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/operation-preparation/
Man Enough for the Boy raises more self-doubt, a common theme it seems, anyone know a good shrink? Behind the one liners I am essentially questioning whether I have what it takes to be a good Dad https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/man-enough-for-the-boy/
9/10 was a rare moment of self congratulation. Rather than brazenly give myself 9/10 I cunningly use Max as a foil and seem to just about get away with it https://daddownunder.wordpress.com/2012/11/10/910/
And there you have it, a little bit of therapy in the shape of a blog. To put your feelings out there for others to judge and comment on is an act of bravery (or stupidity depending on how you look at it). You are open to criticism, judgment and on occasion compliments and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you to everyone who has felt compelled to read, comment, relate, criticise, laugh, cry, tut, lol and even bahahaha on occasion. I write for me but without you it just wouldn’t be the same.