I seem to spend a disproportionate ammount of my time trying to convince people that stay at home parenting constitutes work and warrants being called a job. There are any number of comments thrown in the general direction of SAHP’s that, whether deliberate or not, belittle the role. These range from the sublime “when do you think you’ll go back to work?” to the ridiculous “I see you’ve got the day off today”. It’s the sort of nonsense I might have innocently said before I got a taste of the real thing #bloodyhypocrite
It got me wondering what a parenting job advert might look like if ‘they’ were to advertise. And so on my lunch break I thought I’d have a go.
Position Vacant – Parent Required
An exciting opportunity exists for suitably loving and responsible adults to join the ranks of parents. You do not need to have any experience and on the job training will be provided by your Mother in Law. We are looking for self starters with a can do attitude that are not afraid of hard work and have proven leadership qualities.
Duration – This is an ongoing position, it will be going on until you kick the bucket
Hours – Full time 24/7 – even when you’re meant to be sleeping. Expect to work overtime in the winter months when for all intents and purposes I will be 99% mucous.
Salary – Sweet FA! This is a voluntary position in fact you will spend all your disposable income on me. You mostly won’t be thanked for your efforts, however a few well placed smiles and hugs will make sure you keep clocking on each day
Duties Include – protecting, teaching, nursing, cooking, cleaning (of bottoms), entertaining, chauffeuring, counselling, storytelling, loving and whatever else I decide to throw your way at any given moment……parenting basically!
How to Apply – Successfully submit your application with another interested party. You will not hear from us for 9 months after a successful application you will hear from nothing but us for the remainder of your tenure
Key Selection Criteria
(1) Please provide an example of a previous role which required you to successfully manage multiple workloads to meet crucial deadlines under testing conditions and long hours
(2) Please provide an example of a previous role which required you to work within a small team often sacrificing your own wishes for the greater good
(3) Please provide an example of a previous role which required you to utilise your leadership skills to develop and nurture those that were less experienced than you
(4) Please provide an example of a previous role which allowed you to spend your working day in the company of someone you love unconditionally, watching them grow and shaping their future
Flogging my blog with a potentially hungover Grace at With Some Grace