You Know You’re Parenting a Toddler When…………………

15 Apr

The toddler is strong in Max right now. He is capable of some fairly epic mood swings and could even give his Mum a run for her money. I thought I had parenting mastered at the baby phase but low and behold the little critters grow and change. And so without further ado you know you’re parenting a toddler when…………………

You find yourself apologising to other parents a lot, for theft, violence, noise, all three…..the toddlers not your own

You realise that teaching them how to navigate their way around your iPad was not cute at all it was stupid
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You realise that babies are alright after all

You realise that one day those lovely nappies will be traded in for poohy floors

You test out whether putting slithers of cucumbers over your eyes really does deal with the oversized baggage you’re carting around

You begin to convince yourself that having two children just sounds greedy

You realise that a treat is not a treat and you are actually setting a very dangerous precedent

The word most likely used to describe your appearance is frayed or one of its many synonyms. I’m too tired to even check whether synonym needed an ‘s’ on the end

You’re not sure whether to warn expecting parents or congratulate them

You know that if you’re having sex you’re either dreaming about having sex or trying for another

Undertaking routine maintenance like clipping toenails needs to be planned out weeks in advance
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You begin to feel like you work in a restaurant churning out 40 covers a night for an incredibly fastidious critic

You realise you converse a little louder than you used to

You suddenly begin to curb your over the top swearing habit

You no longer enjoy a glass of wine, you just need one

The word “no” becomes the most used word in your house……by everyone

Your arms magically become toned to perfection through all that scooping and carrying of tantrum child

And in the interests of balance – you know you’re parenting a toddler when……… you smile more than you ever have………….they hold your hand and you feel like they’ve bestowed an incredible gift upon you………..they smile and you follow………..a little part of you misses having them around when they sleep……………you proudly show them off to anyone and everyone.
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This list was thrown together in fairly hasty fashion, what did I miss, what makes your list?

As always linking up with Jess at Essentially Jess

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29 Responses to “You Know You’re Parenting a Toddler When…………………”

  1. Mrs P April 15, 2013 at 9:24 am #

    You know you’re parenting a toddler when you know the tv schedule for ABC 4 Kids better than you know much else!

    • daddownunder April 15, 2013 at 9:43 am #

      Too true Aly, I missed that one. Thats a great addition. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. LettheWildflowersGrow April 15, 2013 at 9:26 am #

    When you see left over Vegemite toast on the table and you eat it,no regard to its ownership.
    When you are still smiling whilst carrying your less then cooperative toddler as you push a trolley and stroll the aisles of your local Woolies.
    When vomit becomes ‘just another day in the life’ and no longer causes a gagging reflex.
    When you find yourself intently watching Peppa Pig with as much eagerness as said toddler does.
    I could go on.Toddlers bring us down to a very real level I had no idea I was ever able to get to.
    X

    • daddownunder April 15, 2013 at 9:45 am #

      Is that one for each child Jessi? Definitely down with the Vegemite shout, finders keepers losers weepers!

  3. Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions April 15, 2013 at 9:28 am #

    When you experience every emotion known to man, in a period of about 0.25 seconds!

    • daddownunder April 15, 2013 at 9:45 am #

      It makes for a rollercoaster of a day doesn’t it Kylez : )

  4. Em @ snowingindoors April 15, 2013 at 9:35 am #

    * you know all the words to the songs of Tangled & Labyrinth
    * the stock answer to anyone with a tummy ache is, ‘do you need a poo?’
    * you dread soft play areas because they’re no longer a place of rest, now you have to chase the small one around to ensure they don’t get lost / stuck / in a tug of war with another child over one of the hundreds of identical ball pit balls
    * you regret buying that scooter because they are beyond accident prone
    * they start playing with other kids instead of just shoving them and trying to nick their toys
    * you hear yourself saying, ‘climb down backwards, don’t jump off there’ more often than would seem right
    * you realise with a sinking heart that it won’t be long before school starts
    * you don’t have to bend down to tousle hair and enjoy a little hug as they fly past…

    • daddownunder April 15, 2013 at 9:48 am #

      And there speaks a women of experience Em. “you dread soft play areas because they’re no longer a place of rest, now you have to chase the small one around to ensure they don’t get lost / stuck / in a tug of war with another child over one of the hundreds of identical ball pit balls” – I found myself on the 3rd level of an inflatable area recently, commando crawling my way through the narrowing gauntlet.

  5. Julie April 15, 2013 at 11:25 am #

    When you find yourself cheering when your son pees over the verandah. Because he is now quicker than Magic Mike with his clothes and nappy, yet won’t pee sitting on the toilet.
    When your partner comes home from work and he has a smear of poo on him, to tired to note he work it all day at work. Which came from cuddling stripper toddler before he left.

    When you find yourself explaining the easiest way to pick up poo from carpet and the its different to picking up poo from polish floorboards to your partner who has come home from work, and not realise this is not a normal “Hey honey how was your day at work greeting.
    Yes there has been a LOT of poo and wee episodes this week

    • daddownunder April 15, 2013 at 11:29 am #

      Ooh Julie sounds like you’ve had a poohy week all round. Its good you can look back and laugh about it, you gave me a chuckle too. Thanks for saying hi

  6. coloursofsunset April 15, 2013 at 10:22 pm #

    when you’re in the car, on your own ( a rare treat! ) and the wiggles is playing and you’re singing along…..can’t tell you how many times that happened to me! great list! Then they grow out of being a toddler and are genuine little boys who go to school and talk in complex sentences, and question the universe….makes the toddler years seem like a life time ago! x Aroha (#teamIBOT)

    • daddownunder April 16, 2013 at 6:47 am #

      I really, really hope never to go down the Wiggles path, being a Brit I haven’t been raised on Wiggles and they creep me out. So your telling me its going to get harder? Bloody hell! Thanks for always commenting Aroha!

  7. nataliafamilia April 16, 2013 at 1:11 am #

    Wow, you’ve opened a can of worms here! Thanks for sharing your hilarious words. I have twins two year-olds. I could add a few things to the list, but I might just say: all of the above… doubled!!

    • daddownunder April 16, 2013 at 6:49 am #

      Double the fun, double the pressies on Mother’s Day, double the memories – contrary to my list lets focus on the positives Natalie : ) Thanks for saying hi

  8. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) April 16, 2013 at 2:50 am #

    Great post! Toddler years are the most trying. I think you know you are a parent of a toddler just when you thought you were the best/worst mother/father you can be!

    • daddownunder April 16, 2013 at 6:55 am #

      Thats another good one Jodi. And more importantly thank you for confirming tht its a breeze after toddle rphase, I needed to hear that.

  9. robyn @slightly deep April 16, 2013 at 4:32 am #

    Yes, Yes, Yes! I have just had one toddler turn into a ‘big girl’ (finally) only to have my next one start the toddler routine!

    • daddownunder April 16, 2013 at 6:58 am #

      You’ll be an old pro this time round Robyn : )

  10. Have a laugh on me April 16, 2013 at 5:46 am #

    SO TRUE, and multiply all of this by three and that’s my life – UGH! But the good do outweigh the bad, most days. You missed that going to the supermarket, toilet and petrol station by yourself is almost as exciting a night out on the town!
    BTW – two children might be greedy but three is stupid! – Em x

    • daddownunder April 16, 2013 at 7:01 am #

      I feel your pain Em and yes the balance is in the favour of the adorable toddler. Cant beat a nice solo trip out to the supermarket, so exhilirating! Thanks for always commenting Em : )

  11. MrsD April 16, 2013 at 9:58 am #

    Shhhhhhhh Em, don’t tell him that!! Three is the magic number…….isn’t it???? I have never loved my own company as much as I do now. Adorable as they are – exasperating is my word of the night!!

  12. always josefa (@always_josefa) April 16, 2013 at 10:52 am #

    wiping bums! that surely needs to be on the list 🙂
    and a little late, but congrats on being so Remarkable xx

    • daddownunder April 17, 2013 at 4:52 am #

      I ws trying not to go there Josefa, but yep that makes the list. Thank you for the congrats and for commenting

  13. Wendy Parks April 17, 2013 at 4:33 am #

    Beautiful post! If I can’t find my mobile phone, it is most likely attached to my toddler’s ear, and she is having a great “conversation” with someone.
    IBOT

    • daddownunder April 17, 2013 at 4:53 am #

      So true! Max is more of a texter, the poor person at the top of my contacts gets regular updates from him. Thanks for stopping by Wendy

  14. EssentiallyJess April 17, 2013 at 4:37 am #

    I have a toddler, but my arms aren’t as toned as I’d like. What am I doing wrong?

    • daddownunder April 17, 2013 at 4:55 am #

      You probably doing everything right Jess, your child isn’t tantruming and refusing to walk on such a regular basis : ) Thanks for commenting

  15. Sonia Life Love Hiccups April 17, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    Ahhh Thank Flippin Heavens we no longer reside in the Toddler Hood in our house. For us you knew because you spent every second day at the Drs or accident and Emergency having things extracted from noses and ears. I miss that stage … a little … not really! 😉 x

    • daddownunder April 17, 2013 at 11:54 am #

      No extractions so far Sonia, usually just my foot from my mouth but thats been a problem for years. Its funny how quickly you forget about the different stages, someone handed me a baby today and I felt out of my comfort zone

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