The Names Under, Dad Down Under

25 Apr

If you had asked my child self what he wanted to be when he grew up he may well replied Bond, James Bond. I suspect in those early days it was all about ejector seats and exploding pens, fast cars and gorgeous women in skimpy bikinis are more the go these days.

I thought the Bond dream was dead and buried, Daniel Craig is doing an admirable job and I  thought the chance had passed. Then I received a memo;

“00Down Under your mission should you choose to accept is to go to the Whitsunday Islands, mingle with a bevy of glamorous ladies and sip cocktails. You will be dropped off by helicopter. And would ever you do Down Under don’t get drunk and make a total tit of yourself – M”.  

Money Penny I have a secret mission, something about tropical islands, beautiful women and cocktails, could you pack my Tux and look after Odd Job for a few days. Money Penny was less than impressed and may even have swore. I kissed Odd Job goodbye and did a happy agent jig right out the door. 

Image

The Whitsundays was the perfect setting for a Bond mission, white powder sand and turquoise waters combined to good effect. The trip had lots of glamour, the food, accommodation and company were all exactly what Ian Fleming had in mind. Without doubt the most glamorous Bond girl of all was Mrs Woog, who I got tipsy with on the back of the boat like naughty school children. At one point she leaned in, fixed me with a steely glare and whispered/slurred “be the Dad that women want to fuck”.

At that point I dropped my drink over my crotch, blushed and was most definitely shaken and stirred. I realised at that point that I may have to finally give up on the secret agent stuff and return to Money Penny and Odd Job.

 

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34 Responses to “The Names Under, Dad Down Under”

  1. Tegan April 25, 2013 at 11:58 pm #

    Love this. Laughed the whole way through. I’m with Money Penny, I would have sworn unmnentionables at you as you jigged out the door.

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:00 am #

      Inside I was hurting Tegan……honest ; ) glad you enjoyed and thanks for commenting

  2. tahlia - the parenting files April 26, 2013 at 12:29 am #

    Never! Secret agent stuff is very inspiring! We all need to be the secret agent within us at some point !

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:02 am #

      You sound like your speaking from experience Tahlia, do you have a co name? Thanks for saying hi

  3. http://vicky-lifeonthehill.blogspot.com.au April 26, 2013 at 1:02 am #

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
    Too friggin funny!

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 2:34 pm #

      I thought you might like that Vicky, I have just about stopped blushing

      • Vicky April 27, 2013 at 11:47 am #

        That mrs Woog is right though! 😉

  4. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) April 26, 2013 at 1:55 am #

    What a great experience living out your childhood fantasy – well almost! This blogging gig does alright doesn’t it?

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:08 am #

      It’s been a very surreal experience Jodi, I have been pinching myself the whole time #luckydad

  5. Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions April 26, 2013 at 2:04 am #

    OMG “be the Dad that women want to fuck”, that would have floored me too! Nice one Mrs. Woog.

    Oh how I would love to go to the Whitsundays!

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:10 am #

      I was little taken aback Kylez, I think I’ve just stopped blushing, she is a force of nature in the best possible way. Thanks Kylez and yes you should definitely come its unbelievable

  6. kellie April 26, 2013 at 2:37 am #

    Trust the Woogster to floor you! bahaha….what a divine part of the world….and the amazing company your sharing…wow!

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:11 am #

      I’m a very lucky boy Kellie, its completely unexpected but I’m loving it! Thanks for commenting

  7. Mary J April 26, 2013 at 3:14 am #

    Ha, that would be Mrs Woog! Glad you’re having a ball! Enjoy your little jaunt!

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 8:12 am #

      Thank you very much Mary, if you ever get a chance to come here do it, it’s awesome.

  8. mumabulous April 26, 2013 at 3:53 am #

    Sod Orf! That you people are up there instead of Team Abulous is just another example of what is wrong with society. As for being the Dad that women want to fork – that role has been taken by Dadabs. So again Sod Orf!

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 3:08 am #

      Thats two sod orfs in one comment! Try to be happy for me Brenda, go on I know you’ve got it in you. Hope your good, DDU

  9. Aroha @ Colours of Sunset April 26, 2013 at 7:28 am #

    How appropriate that this post was sponsored by durex….

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 2:33 pm #

      It was? I had no idea Aroha, although that definitely fits – not intended ; )

  10. Nat @ Natalia Familia April 26, 2013 at 9:25 am #

    Hilarious! Sounds like you might have to take Money Penny and the Odd Job with you next time! (Nice to have a sunny break no doubt!)

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 3:03 am #

      Thanks Nat, yes I think Money Penny and Odd Job are feleing a little left out, next time they are definitely coming along for the ride.

  11. always josefa (@always_josefa) April 26, 2013 at 10:20 am #

    Woog is a super star! Great post – keep living the dream xx

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

      She is a superstar and I’ve spent the entire time telling her so. Thanks Josefa and yes it definitely does feel a bit dream like

  12. Kevin April 26, 2013 at 1:02 pm #

    more than a wee bit jealous – well done on making to the upper echelons (not actually sure what an echelon is but everyone seems to want to get there)

    • daddownunder April 26, 2013 at 2:38 pm #

      I got a lucky break Kev, I don’t think I’ve done much yet and I know you won’t believe me but its actually been quite hard work in amongst the fun times. Keep doing your thing Kev

      • Kevin April 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm #

        I believe you. Keeping up a posting pace is hard, especially when you have kids or a job to do.

  13. Caz Craig Makepeace (@yTravelBlog) April 27, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

    You accepted your mission well Matt! Looks like you have a new one now!! Great hanging out with you and your poached eggs sure lived up to Bond standard!

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 3:02 am #

      Thanks Caz, I’m guessing this is Caz and not Craig : ) Was awesome meting you guys too, hope to catch up soon.

  14. Veggie mama April 27, 2013 at 9:58 pm #

    You handled a bunch of squawking drunken women with real class, Down Under, I was impressed. Next time though, make something explode would you! X

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 3:11 am #

      It took every bit of class I had Stacey, I’ve been left classless, but if I impressed just one person then I see that as a big win. It was lovely to meet you and Peppa(er)? too, you made parenting look very easy indeed – unflappable mum.

  15. Andrea (@FoxInFlats) April 28, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    Ok, so I’ll admit there was a moment when you emerged from the surf that was kinda Bond-ish. So mission accomplished.
    Great to meet you and get to know you Matt.
    Cheers James, A

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 5:20 am #

      I will settle for kinda and ish Andrea ; ) Great to meet you too, hopefully we get to catch up again in the near future. Yours secretly, Bond.

  16. Christina @ Hair Romance April 28, 2013 at 7:42 am #

    Great to meet you this week Matt! Two chopper rides does give you bond status x

    • daddownunder April 28, 2013 at 8:59 am #

      So good to meet you too Christina, I did feel distinctly more Bond on the second chopper ride – front seat rules!

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