If you had asked my child self what he wanted to be when he grew up he may well replied Bond, James Bond. I suspect in those early days it was all about ejector seats and exploding pens, fast cars and gorgeous women in skimpy bikinis are more the go these days.
I thought the Bond dream was dead and buried, Daniel Craig is doing an admirable job and I thought the chance had passed. Then I received a memo;
“00Down Under your mission should you choose to accept is to go to the Whitsunday Islands, mingle with a bevy of glamorous ladies and sip cocktails. You will be dropped off by helicopter. And would ever you do Down Under don’t get drunk and make a total tit of yourself – M”.
Money Penny I have a secret mission, something about tropical islands, beautiful women and cocktails, could you pack my Tux and look after Odd Job for a few days. Money Penny was less than impressed and may even have swore. I kissed Odd Job goodbye and did a happy agent jig right out the door.
The Whitsundays was the perfect setting for a Bond mission, white powder sand and turquoise waters combined to good effect. The trip had lots of glamour, the food, accommodation and company were all exactly what Ian Fleming had in mind. Without doubt the most glamorous Bond girl of all was Mrs Woog, who I got tipsy with on the back of the boat like naughty school children. At one point she leaned in, fixed me with a steely glare and whispered/slurred “be the Dad that women want to fuck”.
At that point I dropped my drink over my crotch, blushed and was most definitely shaken and stirred. I realised at that point that I may have to finally give up on the secret agent stuff and return to Money Penny and Odd Job.