I have an insatiable appetite for hearing other people’s stories of awkwardness, embarrassment and cringe, on reflection I guess that makes me a bit of a bastard, but that’s okay. I thought I would share with you my most embarrassing, awkward and cringe worthy moments in the hope that I can something of you.
Most Awkward
When Max was but a few weeks and had an annoying habit of waking up all through the night I would generally do my share of the settling. One night the familiar cry goes out, I whisper into Anna’s ear “I got this one” and make my way towards the bassinet. I pluck the little man out and start rocking him in my arms. Given the fact that we were in the heart of a barmy Melbourne summer, I was completely starkers. The I started hearing footsteps coming from the other side of the house. This would be a good time to explain that my mother in law was staying with us.
I was still under the impression that Max might break if I ran so I proceeded to press myself right up against a wall. There you go MIL you can see my bottom but I’ll be damned if I’m going to give you a glimpse of the crown jewels. MIL seemed less embarrassed about the incident than I did, indeed she seemed fairly comfortable and even stayed for a little bit of a natter, with me all the while pressed against the wall as if I were trying to make a naughty stamp of myself.
Most Embarrassing
So I was in a gym about to get on the treadmill, I was concentrating on untangling my headphones that had somehow knotted themselves about 100 times. So focused was I on this task that I hadn’t realised that some total douche bag had actually got off the treadmill and left it running, fast.
I stepped on it and both my feet flew out from under me, I instinctively grabbed hold of the barriers and hung on for dear life. Then I realised how stupid that was and let go. When I gathered my composure and baring in mind this played out in a busy gym full of image conscious fitness junkies, I realised I had a friction burn on my chin and nipples.
Most Cringe Worthy
Once upon a time I started a new job, it was my first day and I was eager to make a good first impression. I was being given a little tour of the building by my manager who was an attractive 30 something gal. I was doing quite well, lots of good questions, a few gags, nodding of head and interested expression when she was talking.
And then we got in a lift and the conversation suddenly dried up. I panicked. I was reaching around in my head for something, anything in fact. I noticed that we had something in common. We both sport a mole on our lower lip, the sort of mole that has led to cruel jokes about Coco Pops and such like. “I like your mole, I have one too”. WTF? Cringe.
And there you have it; I hope that gave you some grubby sense of pleasure because I want mine now! What have you got?
haha my mother-in-law would probably stay for a chat too…not that I would be walking around the house naked lol !!!!
In my defence Varonica I had just got out of bed and perhaps I should also have mentioned it was around 3am. Normally I am clothed : )
Good to hear that you are normally clothed….I’ll let you off as I am well versed in the newborn middle of the night thing..albeit clothed in my case!!
You have achieved your aim of sending us to bed with a smile…
Yes! Sorry I just did a little fist pump. Glad you liked it and glad you no longer think I roam the house nude
I like your mole…that’s a good one!
My awkward moment(one of many) happened one rainy day when I decided to wear boots into work in the city. On my lunch break I went to the markets being held up the top of the mall. I decided I’d buy myself some flowers. I picked them all and went to pay for them. The older gentleman then said to me,”nice boobs!” I didn’t know weather to punch him in the face or run for my life. But my facial expression must have been priceless. I didn’t say anything except stare at him for what seemed like eternity and then he said, very hesitantly, “your boots. Their nice” to which I replied “ohhhhhh. Yeh thanks!” I Berliner out of there and never went back!
Oops… Beelined*
I was wondering what Berliner was : )
Poor old bloke, you try and give a gal a compliment about their boots and you get daggers ; ) thanks for sharing Loren
I told my husband about it when I got home so now when ever I wear my boots I always get, “nice boobs Loren!” Don’t think I’ll ever live it down. Haha.
Maybe he’s just giving you a compliment Loren : )
I think Loren may have trumped you daddownunder! Nice boobs hahahahahaha!!!!
Happy to be trumped by Loren and her lovely boots : )
Hilarious, thanks for sharing.
I seem to have repressed most of my memories from those categories. Sorry.
(Wimp? Maybe but I’m not the one blogging so I figure I’m home free)
Good answer Kassey, you are indeed home free. Glad you enjoyed my offerings either way
On my second or third day working at Maccas (I was about 15) a famous footballer came into our store, and came to my register! I was so nervous that when I repeated his order back to him I said “shit thake” instead of “thickshake”. Then proceeded to uncontrollably giggle like the school girl I was.
Did he see the funny side of it Dom? I suspect I would still giggle like a school girl if I did that today
I think I must block my embarrassing/awkward/cringe-worthy moments completely from memory, because I can’t think of one.Either that, or I just don’t ever embarrass myself! (RIGHT!) I think it’s probably the former. I’d prefer to not remember them! x Aroha
Thats fair enough Aroha, I bet you’ve got some on the tip of oyur tongue though don’t you?
Nicely done on all accounts Mr Under. I think the MIL experience was most cringe worthy.
i would tend to agree with you Bree, shiver,shiver, cringe