Puppies vs Babies

9 May

Adjacent to our local park is a footy oval, on weekends the oval is teeming with little footy players trying to emulate their heroes but the rest of the time every man (and woman) and his dog congregate there to throw sticks, pick up poop and talk all things pooch. I do a quick scan of the park full of parents doting over their little bundles of fun, I then turn my attention to the oval were dog owners dote on their little bundles of energy. I would be willing to wager that some of those dog owners have consciously chosen puppy over baby.

I can remember when Max was a newborn and people would come over and get all up in his face doing the coochee coo thing. I can remember several occasions when we were sat outside cafes and Max would be bypassed in favour of the cute little French Bulldog or Toy Poodle at the table next to us. Some people genuinely prefer dogs to babies, which made me wonder how they compare to one another and whether we should have just plumped for a puppy.

Eating

Dogs eat anything don’t they? How nice it must be to throw something in a bowl being fully confident that it would not only vanish in seconds but it would be genuinely appreciated with begging for being a given. I will dock a point for the fact that they are fully capable of thieving the French Pastry that you thought was tucked out of reach. I will dock a further point for the foul stench that is dog food.

Babies are a little more high maintenance; most of what is fed to them is deposited on your shoulder. They like their milk straight from the nipple were as dogs are happy with a carton. Dogs are a little more self sufficient and don’t need spoon feeding although I’m sure some of the more indulged dogs may still get ‘spooned’. I will add a baby bonus point for the fact that some of the baby food pouches make for genuinely delicious snacks.

Puppies – 8 Babies – 7
IMG_1068
Sleeping

I know all babies and all puppies are different but this has to be a big win for the puppy doesn’t it? You don’t often hear dog owners complaining about sleep deprived nights at the mercy of dream feeds, ear infections, dummy spits, teething, wet nappies, big bed envy, etc. A dog might be guilty of sticking their private parts in and around your face as a wakeup call or giving you a friendly lick but by comparison they are angelic.

Puppies – 9 Babies – 3
IMG_1157
Pooping

There are pros and cons for both babies and puppies in this area. I have dog sat and I really do not like picking up the doodoo. With a baby you just wipe and dispose, but with canines there is a textural thing about actually touching it with nothing but a thin layer plastic between hand and pooh. Babies however are more prolific, they seem to churn out wee beige jobbies like they’re going out of fashion; I seem to remember getting through about 15 nappies a day in those early parent days.

Sometimes though puppies overstep the mark when it comes to self sufficiency, a baby will happily let you wipe up after them but in trying to be helpful a dog will gladly drag his bottom along your carpet without consideration for its colour or cost. Whilst neither job is particularly fun the clincher for me is the smell and dog pooh makes my eyes water.

Puppies – 6 Babies – 7
IMG_1198 (2)
Givers of Joy

Puppies don’t have to work particularly hard to give joy, they are universally cute to look at and you would be hard pushed to find a puppy no matter how bizarre the breed that does not make you smile. They are man’s best friend, the ultimate loyal companion and to the best of my knowledge no baby has ever been described in such a way. Babies lack loyalty, they pretty much gravitate towards the person with the most milky nipple.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get Max to fetch a stick, roll over or give me his paw/hand. In fact I couldn’t get him to do anything I wanted him to, don’t tell him I said this but he used to bore me to tears. 1 puppy point is docked for their propensity to chew furniture and look pleased with themselves.

Puppies – 9 Babies – 6
IMG_1137
Total Scores – Puppies 32 Babies 23
There you have it, anyone considering having a baby, perhaps you might want to get a puppy instead as my evidence conclusively proves that puppies are better than babies.

Flogging my blog with Grace at With Some Grace

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11 Responses to “Puppies vs Babies”

  1. onemumsadventure May 9, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    We are a baby family,hands down.(obviously)
    We want a dog/s,but intend on waiting until A) We have our home on our own land,and B) the kids are slightly older and help with the care of said dog/s.
    Nick is attempting to sway me with cute pictures of dogs and hope against all odds I want one as apposed to another baby!Are you guys thinking of growing your brood and tossing up your pros and cons possibly?

    • daddownunder May 9, 2013 at 10:36 am #

      I think it’ll happen Jessi, Anna’s getting pretty broody. Just trying to figure out our Visa situation. I’ve got osme mates that are only kids and they have some dubious character traits ; )

  2. kellie May 9, 2013 at 10:36 am #

    I have a 6 month old puppy Matt and it is seriously like having an 18mth old…OMG….hard work…and yes, he did keep me awake at night early on…crying and crying and crying….he ended up next to my bed many the night…oh and the peeing on the carpet :/ grrrr…..I’m really not sure to be honest lol.

    • daddownunder May 9, 2013 at 10:40 am #

      Sounds like I migth have ot tweak some of my scores Kellie? To be fair Max pees on the carpet too : ) Its close isn’t it?

      • kellie May 9, 2013 at 10:51 am #

        Perhaps….but I agree it is a close one….I have 3 girls under 6, a husband and a puppy….most of the time I’m just your standard mother of 5 lol…they are all similar in workload x

      • daddownunder May 9, 2013 at 11:47 am #

        I’m hearing you girlfriend : )

  3. onemumsadventure May 9, 2013 at 11:03 am #

    That can’t be much fun,having to wait for a Visa.Hope you guys get to stay here and grow your family and get the home you want.I reckon Max would make a wonderful big brother and Anna and yourself are more then cut out for a few more kids.I promise,even 4 is pretty easy 🙂

    • daddownunder May 9, 2013 at 11:07 am #

      Its not much fun Jessi, they certainly dont make it easy. I said nothing about a “few” more and the word easy has never been used in this house : ) You do very well with your little tribe

  4. Poppy May 13, 2013 at 9:20 am #

    I have them both: babies and a puppy… and I agree with Kellie, puppies are a lot of work too! Some say, it’s like having another baby. Good point for puppies: they grow MUCH faster than babies. Our dog is now 10 months old, and almost an adult lady herself. For instance I haven’t had to clean up after her inside the house since Christmas! Yay 🙂

    • daddownunder May 13, 2013 at 9:47 am #

      Puppy and baby sounds like a fairly tiring combination Poppy : ) I’m glad the pup is acting a bit more ladylike these days. I would like a dog myself so maybe I will rework this post with the benefit of hindsight. Thanks Poppy.

      • Poppy May 13, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

        It is tiring, but luckily not that much as in the beginning. Back then, one morning, when we were side by side cleaning up the hallway after the puppy with my husband (such a romantic experience), we established that we were out of our minds, getting a puppy, when having so small children, one of them still using diapers and the other one struggling with the potty. Then we decided that next time we should probably get a baby elephant, it might poop even more than the puppy and the two kids combined…

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