Talented, rich and smokin hot Gwyneth Paltrow has got the lot. She does have her flaws, she does a shocking acceptance speech, I probably wouldn’t trust her to name any of Max’s future siblings and The Pallbearer was shit. But on the whole she is ticking lots of very good boxes. For the entire male heterosexual population of the universe she has just got a giant red permanent marker out and finished us off with a big beautiful tick.
Gwynny’s advice to a friend who was not sure how best to handle her husband after a big fight was “just go at him with love and you give him a blow job.'” And I would personally like to thank that friend for sharing Gwynny’s relationship advice with the entire world. It puts a whole different slant on the saying “suck it up Princess” doesn’t it? Marriage counsellors are wincing at the thought of being permanently out of work and I’m not sure that many feminist groups would subscribe to GP’s relationship advice.
And this is what Gwynny does when they are fighting, can you imagine how much love this women has got to give on their anniversary or his birthday? The mind boggles. If I was Chris Martin I would be spoiling for a fight, regularly. “Gwyneth what on earth were you thinking when you dressed Moses this morning he looks ridiculous and don’t even get me started on Apple”. That ought to do the trick!
Mrs Under comes from an entirely different school of reconciliation. I dread arguing with my wife and go to extraordinary lengths to avoid it, “yes darling, your right darling, how silly of me” is my stock defence mechanism. When I do go into battle I do so knowing that I am in grave danger and I may not emerge unscathed. The argument itself may be over in minutes but we can remain in post argument silence for days after. I think I am usually the one to crack and apologise for whatever I did but let’s not argue about the details…..unless of course you’re reading Gwyn?
I will leave you with this image. Two blokes down the pub enjoying a quiet beer;
Bloke 1 – “I had to get out tonight mate me and the missus were having a massive blue”
Bloke 2 – “Do you mind if I offer you a little bit of advice? I don’t want to tread on your toes mate but if it were my wife, I would go at her with love and go down on her. Do you want another bag of chips?”
Image sourced from Zazzle